If You Can't Get To Work On Time, Just Go Take A Shanley.

Original Message:

" Hello. Hello. This is the ***** notification system calling for ****. [...] We consider all employees essential personnel. If you are able to safely make it into the office, there is no need to notify your supervisor of your delayed arrival. If, however, you are unable to come into the office, please contact your supervisor and assignments as quickly as possible. Time off will be charged to available personal and/or vacation leave. Please Be Extremely Careful as your travels as many of the roads and sidewalks are still quite icy. If there are any changes to this recorded message those changes will be posted as of 6:30 AM tomorrow. Thank you and have a great evening. Please call 877 -*** -0101 to listen to your message and confirm receipt. Again, the number to call is 877-***-0101. Thank you. Bye.

"
What GV Heard:

" Yellow yellow. Yeah, this is the ***** notification system calling for ****. Yeah. [...] We consider all employees. The central part of the now if you are able to safely make it into the office. There is no need to notify your supervisor of your delayed arrival. If, however, you are unable to come into the office. Please contact your supervisor and assignments as quickly as possible time off will be charged to available parcels and go take a Shanley. Please Be Extremely Careful as your travels as many of the road and so I walked are still quite. I see if there are any changes to this recorded message those changes will be posted as of 6:30 AM or tomorrow. Thank you and have a great evening. Please call 877. Yeah ***. Yeah, 0101 To listen to your message and confirm receipt you again. The number to call is. 8 yeah 77, yeah ***. Yay. X. Yeah 010. Yeah one Yank you. Yeah. Bye. "

Submitted By GW

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Just Bomb Around 1:30 Or So After Your Dad Kills Her Name.

Original Message:

"Hey don't forget your dad's pills, honey. And be careful on the way home; Roads look pretty clear down here, I don't know what it is like on 30 so be careful. Bye."

What GV Heard:

"Hey don't forget your dad killed her name. Be careful on the way. Read some pretty clear down here bomb within like 130 to be careful. Bye"

Submitted By Anonymous

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Wait--Don't Forget to Stop Bill Bradley!

Original Message:

"Hey, Lynn. It's Chad. I'm calling to see if you would be able to pick up some Sliverleaf coupons from Rick before you come tomorrow. He should be home all day if you want to give him a call, that'd be fabulous. There's $20 worth of coupons. Some of them expire so I wanted to use them and I forgot until I'm almost there, so . . . I would appreciate it. I hope you have a good day. Bye."

What GV Heard:

"Hey man, It's chat. I'm colleagues. The. If you would be able to pick up. Bill Bradley's coupon from right before you come tomorrow, you should be home all day if you want to give him a call back 8 that that there is $20 for the coupon of them expired so I wanted to use them and I forgot stop. I hope that so I would appreciate it. I hope you have a good day. Bye."

Submitted by Lynn in Austin

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Grandma Is Here To Make All Your Home Improvements Affordable!

Original Message:

"We also do kitchens, baths, driveways, roofs, (um), gutters, additions, and pool 'cagery' screenings, and 'Gray Hoc' is here to make your home improvements affordable."

What GV Heard:

"We also do predictions past driveways reps debtor's additions in pool. K jury screenings and Grandma is here to make your home improvements affordable."

Submitted By Anonymous

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Let Your Sister Change, But, Don't Change Her Underwear.

Original Message:

"yeah thats cuz you always get a million phone numbers if it was just one then I would get to know what it was but you and your sister change phone numbers like every day. Bye"

What GV Heard:

"Yeah I feel like a million phone number is that there was just like one you know that I would get to know who it was, but you let your sister change. Phone numbers, I could change your underwear. Bye."

Submitted By Michaelad

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Enough is Enough of that Car is Enough. Or Something.

What GV Heard:

"Hey M***. It's about 5 after 5. I thought maybe you might be on your way home. I just wanted to say hello, see how your car of your car is enough good in your house is staying warm and gimme a call. Talk to you Later. Bye Bye."

Submitted by MHD

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It's All About The Senior Little Boys.

Original Message:

"Bill, where are you? I haven't seen you since you were a little boy. Hey, call me. I am headed down to the Red Stag at quarter of eight to listen to Bobby over there all by my lonesome. I'll work on my website a little bit. Join me if you want. Gimme a call. Let me know what you are up to. I have not seen you in forever. Talk to you soon. Bye."

What GV Heard:

Errol we are, or our new rules. I haven't seen when you see if you've been there a little boy, the, hey call me. I am headed down to the Rex tags quarter of a most of the body over there. Just all possible so so work on the website a little bit but Jaime, If you want. Gimme a call. Let me know what you have to have a senior forever so. Talk to you soon. Bye.

Submitted By Bill

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That HIV Is ALWAYS Wanting To Know EVERYTHING.

Original Message:

Hey, it's me. I just called to say hi. Wanna let you know I did get a card downstairs although it wasn't for niece, but it's kinda cute card. So anyway, hope all is well. Just give me a call whenever you get a chance. Talk to you later. I love you bye bye.

What GV Heard:

Hey, it's me. I said, hopefully HIV wanna let you know I did get a card downstairs on the web. Ferdie's, but it's kinda cute card. So anyways, hope all is well. Just give me a call whenever you get a chance. Talk to you later. I love you bye bye.

Submitted by GW


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That Crazy Thrilled Bill Is Up To No Good Again.

Original Message:

Hey, it's me. I'm getting ready to leave. It's a around a little before 7:30, so I'll see you soon. Love you. Talk to you later. Bye bye.

What GV Heard:

Hey, it's me. I'm getting ready to leave thrilled bill before 7:30 so I'll see you soon. Love you. Talk to you Later. Bye Bye.

Submitted by GW

(Submit Your Google Voice Screwup at the Bottom of the GV Screwups Page)

Give Me Another Heaping Plate of Volkswagen Lasagna!

What GV Heard:

"Hi again This is Michael. So calling from Ralph there. Volkswagen lasagna."

Submitted By Doug C.

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There Will Be No 69-ing of Anyone's Mother Around Here.

Original Message:

Hi it's me, if you have a minute give me a call. I just wanted to see if you could fix my wheels this week. You know what your schedule's like. Bye.

What GV Heard:

Hi it's me if you have a minute give me a call. I just wanted to see if you'd be able to 69. We also and this week. You know what your schedules like. Bye.

Submitted By PantsOnFire's (But it's the Mom who sent the voicemail!)

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Never EVER Take Semen From Your Neighbor, Ollie North.

Original Message:

Hey Chris (last name), It;s Dave (last name). 2 things. Number one, never take Damen from your neighborhood all the way north. It was the slowest, most painful drive ever. And second, the reason we were disoriented at, uhhh, Joe Boston's was that's where Grand as it curves meets Chicago. So when we had that intersection there where Chicago, grand and Sacramento...that's why it was so disorienting, becasue 2 streets you usually think of as parallel weren't. Anyways, look forward to seeing your email with that info, uh, and I'll talk to you soon.

What GV Heard:

Hey Chris, Hey Mister (last name), It's Dave dot com 2 things. Number one, never take semen from your neighbor, Ollie north, Yeah people drive ever. I think at the reason we were disoriented at just past, so if that's we're great. And it's for Chicago. So when we had a secondary Chicago. Graham in Sacramento. I thought it was different because the streets usually think of throw one look forward to seeing you know that in for and I'll talk to you soon.

Submitted By Chris

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Sometimes It's Just About the Patience, Understanding and Ass-Kicking.

Original Message:

Hello. Hey Cesar how is it going? I just wanted to see if you wanted to play chess tonight. I was really gonna kick your ass. And I was gonna, um, definitely get all of your bishops in one turn. Yeah, just let me know. It's gonna be a good game. I hope it's not gonna be a draw like last time. It was really fun playing with you today in the bus. So, um. So yeah. And um. See you later.

What GV Heard:

Hello Hey sooner. I was doing. I just want to see if you would like to just tonight. I was really gonna kick ass and i was gonna definitely get all of your patience and wondering. Yeah, just let me know if you needed game. I hope it's not a drama like last time. It was really fun playing with you today on the bus. So yeah and and. See you later.

Submitted by Cesar

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What's With All The Animosity Towards Panama City?

Original Message:

I'm thinking you're going to be in Panama City.

What GV Heard:

I'm thinking you're going to be animosity.

Submitted by Rich

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I'll Take Your Firefighter if You Don't Need Him Anymore.

Original Message:

Hey what's up Jeff, It's Paul. I don't know if you found your wallet yet or not, but I just looked in the computer room, TV room and downstairs. I didn't see anything but I will keep my eye out for it, so if I come across that I'll let you know, but if you ever find it just text me and I'll text you if I ever find it or give you a call. So alright dude, I see ya, bye.

What GV Heard:

Hey what's up. Jeff, It's. Paul If you found a while yet or not, but I just looked in the computer room. Keep room downstairs. I didn't see anything but also give my on out for it, so come across that I'll let you know. But if your refinance just text me and I'll take your fire fighter give you a call. Alright dude there. Bye.

Submitted by Jeff R.

(Submit Your Google Voice Screwup at the Bottom of the GV Screwups Page)